What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 01.07.2025 18:38
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
How do I deal with my annoying little kids?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
TEXT:
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Make Nazis afraid again!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
What do all Indian parents have in common?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.